The TAGCC model competition has passed and it’s reminded me that I really hate losing. Like whenever I put a lot of effort into something and the result is unsatisfactory my gut fills with angry bees and I get the urge to have a cry; but it simply won’t do because crying is only scheduled for Sunday 11.45pm to 12.20am while drinking red wine in front of a Kramer portrait and a fire place while stroking a taxidermy dog.
In total there were only 5 entries for the competition (most competitions will have 30+):
In First place, a highly detailed MG Freedom 2.0, seriously, every little bit of this kit has been rebuilt or had loads of additional plating added, excellent craftsmanship; I particularly like the shoulders. For comparison see this out of the box Freedom.
In 2nd place a kitbash of the HG Helmige Raincar and a HG Dom Test Type, plenty of extra details and a great original colour scheme. The custom base is a nice touch as well.
In 3rd place, either a cute colourful cartoony day in the life of robo flowers and bees, or, a nightmarish decent into an uncanny valley where all the things that make up your ‘normal’ existence have been replaced with autonomous replicas that watch you wherever you go, never sleeping, never blinking. Sorry where was I? This is the most creative piece to come out of the competition, with a fair bit of mix and matching, this is what I can spot so far:
Finally in 4th and 5th, though it wasn’t announced which is which:
A well done custom coloured MG GM Sniper Custom. A great example of how good model kits can look with just a simple coat of paint, panel lining and decals.
And finally, my MG Duel Assault Shroud Refurbished. If you want to see more details, a summary of the build and pics click here.
Now I haven’t placed in any of the 5 competitions I’ve competed in, those competitions had at least 30 entries. The unfortunate result of there being only 5 entries at TAGCC is that my work is in either 2nd last or last place, which felt crap. The thought popped into my head, ‘why even bother, I’m never going to be able to compete with that, give up’. It’s tempting to indulge that feeling, there’s a really macabre comfort to embracing hopelessness because it means I don’t have to try hard; and if I never try, I’ll never fail.
Here, however, are the counter arguments to that temptation:
While I would love to win a Gunpla competition, it has never been my goal; my goal is mastery of Gunpla, to get as good as I can with model making skills, produce amazing pieces, and share those skills with whoever is interested. Winning competitions is irrelevant.
This is how mastery works: when we start learning we know nothing, we know 0 out of 100. With experience and practice we start to get better, we get 20 out of 100, 40 out of 100 then 80 out of 100, etc. As we approach that 100/100, what we find is that we’re actually at 100/1000, that our increasing skill has opened up entirely new worlds within that skill. So the cycle repeats: we practice and go from 200/1000, to 400/1000, to 800/1000, and, if we keep going we’ll once again find that we’re at 1000/1000000. Increasing mastery in a skill makes us aware of how ignorant we are in that skill, the more we learn the more there is to learn. This is simply how reality works, but it’s not how I want reality to work; I want to feel like I’m reaching an end point, not free floating in an ever expanding bubble of ignorance: I want to feel comfortable. But discomfort is the price that must be paid to GET GOOD and achieve anything worthwhile, so I made the choice: I am going to be uncomfortable in order to GET GOOD! In this case, it means saying to myself ‘yeah, losing sucks, but I’m going to keep doing this anyway.’ I’m sure you’ve noticed that this doesn’t only apply to model making; it applies in every part of life. If you want to achieve something, it’s going to be uncomfortable, and that is ok.